The 'not so secret' life of Aragorn Elessar
by burningxfromxthexinside
Summary: This is a really funny composition on one of the girls in our LotR fanclub, written by her. Read and Enjoy. :)


My name is Estel (name used for protection). I was asked by my friend, Alycia, to participate in an interview about my life. The result was the following:  
  
I have lived in many places. Among my favorites would have to be Imladris and Minas Tirith. The first is very quiet and perfect for studying and learning; the second is a beautiful stone city, the capital of my country. I spent the majority of my life, however, traveling. Bree, Weathertop, Rohan, Lothlorien, and the wilds of Endor are just a few of the places I've been.  
  
People from all over know me by different names (Elessar, Thorongil, and Strider to name *very* few), but I think they would all agree that if one word must describe me, it would be creepy. They are probably right in saying so but personally I would prefer odd.  
  
  
  
I am a very busy person, but when I do get some free time, I enjoy a great variety of hobbits. Burning Nazgul, going to Gondorian parties, and falling in love with random people are just a few of the things I participate in quite frequently.  
  
A quiet tone must be taken now, for we tread dangerous ground my family. I shall start at the beginning and work my way to the present. My father died when I was two years old, of an arrow through the eye. Because of that my mother felt it necessary to bring me to Imladris, where she believed I would be protected from those that were trying to find and kill the King's heir (after my father's death, me).  
  
My mother lived till I was 20, but in my earlier childhood I didn't even know she was there. She preferred solitude to the aggravation of my presence. It was my foster father that was around most often; he was insane. He would walk around with a basket handle held up to his forehead claiming they were his eyebrows, and then begin to laugh in a very sinister way. He had the ability to cause great pain simply by glaring at you.  
  
My twin foster brothers, who enjoyed playing many a dangerous prank on me, are mortal. My foster sister (also my cousin, 68 times removed) is now my wife (and I married her simply to make my now father-in-law angry and I'm miserable for it). I have eleven children (when I didn't want any), and I could not for the life of me remember their names until a few months ago. My ancestors haunt my dreams. My whole family is seriously disturbed, and I hate them all.   
  
My country has many problems and it is hard to pick out what is the greatest. The lack of skill on the pro-ping-pong team (and the fact that we always lose to Rohan) is a large problem. However, I think that the biggest issue facing my country today would have to be my Steward and I, his gambling problem and mine.   
  
My plans for the future are simple - beat Rohan in ping-pong, live to be 210, and rule the world.   
  
I think I shall take the time to tell you of my life a bit more completely, for even after answering the required questions, I don't believe you know me well enough. Brace yourselves, for this may get very confusing (and I may repeat a few things I've already said to make it more sensical - I hope)!   
  
My wife is incredibly frightening - she is nearly 3000 years old (not kidding) and gets very angry when I fall in love with other people (though she gets angry at me about everything). The Steward's wife (the same steward that has the serious gambling problem and is running the country broke) is one of those people I randomly fell in love with. She hates me with a passion, and is plotting my assassination.  
  
She is also the sister of the King of Rohan, who is supposed to be an ally to my country but is actually one of our worst enemies. The King of Roan's wife is the Steward's cousin. The Steward (whose father went insane and burned himself to death, trying to take the Steward with him) and his wife (whose uncle was the King of Rohan before her brother was) had one daughter, who is now married to my son (who must have the worst in-laws ever).  
  
The same Steward's (the cause of all my problems, I say) mother was my date to prom. She was another one of the people I randomly loved.  
  
His father tried to kill me several times, not very successfully. He hated me quite a bit seeing as though I not only almost took his wife, but I took his ruling position and all the attention of his father (the Steward at the time, whom I served under). One of my many daughters ran away and we can't find her.  
  
My wrists always hurt from being broken so many times by my foster father in childhood. I was expelled from 17 different prep. schools all over the world. My life is like a soap opera. 


End file.
